I Wanted to be a Duck

His name was John, but everyone called him Jack. He was 6’6” and weighed about a buck o'five soaking wet. English teacher, drama coach, comedian, avid reader, writer, guitar player, D&D Master, chain smoker, coffee drinker...my dad. He has been gone 20 years, taken too young by emphysema.

People often say I am like him--maybe because I was a skinny drama geek, but I like to think it was more than that. Some of it is undoubtedly in my blood, but watching the passion he put into the things he loved was so inspiring. That, along with his constant encouragement, pushed me to pursue a career as a teacher, read voraciously, attempt to write for public consumption and try my best to fill others’ lives with laughter (did I mention at one point he delivered singing telegrams wearing a hula skirt and coconut bra?).

According to my dad, I could do anything (note to fathers: tell your daughters this constantly). At one time he asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, and I told him I wanted to be a duck. This was a long running joke until he died because if I wanted to be a duck, then I was going to be a duck. He believed in me that much! I have countless books with supportive inscriptions, postcards with encouraging words and memories of pep talks. I cling to these every day as a reminder of the man who loved me and always pushed me to be my best. I wish he could have seen that in himself as well.

You may infer from the second part of the above list that my dad struggled with some demons. It seems that creative, passionate people often do. I have seen firsthand how powerful addictions can be. He fought so hard against them and did his best to protect us from the fallout. But there was hurt, disappointment and heartache amidst the love and admiration I had for my dad. It was obvious that he struggled to be the man he wanted to be because of the power his addictions and illness had over him. Despite the fact that his actions disappointed or even scared me at times, I NEVER doubted his love for me. Ever.

My dad’s illness took him from us way too early. But his words of love and encouragement live on. So I urge you to build up your children (or students, nieces, nephews, etc.) each and every day. These are the words they will hear resonating in their heads when they start to feel doubt or fear. These are the notes they will hang by their desk when they start to lose inspiration. These are the truths that will empower them to be their very best. Let them know you believe in them--even if they want to be a duck.

I would like to share a story my dad wrote that shows how much faith he had in me. As much as my path in life has had twists and turns, I believe that I have walked it well, just like my Daddy said I could.