Reunited..And It Feels So Good!

As I head to my 25-year college reunion (I was like a Doogie Howser, so don’t try to calculate my age or anything--except that by simply mentioning that character I’ve just dated myself!), I have been reflecting on how much we are shaped by the people we meet throughout our lives.

One of the most difficult lessons I’ve learned is that friendships come and go. I have tried very hard to cling to all of my relationships, but I have realized that’s not always necessary or healthy. Some people come into our lives for a season and, while they impact us (for better or worse), circumstances may cause us to drift apart. This used to make me feel like a failure, like if I lost touch with a friend that meant I had done something wrong. Pretty sure this is the people pleaser in me, but lately I have found a new perspective. Sometimes it’s better to let go. It doesn’t mean either person is bad, it just might be time to move on and take what we have learned with us.

Sure there are times we have arguments and “break up” with friends under very unpleasant circumstances. But for the most part in my experience, it’s about connections fading as we move on with our lives. This doesn’t mean the relationship was meaningless or a mistake, quite the contrary. I have learned so much from all of the people who have crossed my path and they have helped shape me into the person I am today.

With her permission, I’d like to use my friend Amy as an example. We met our first year at Luther and became friends immediately. She was one of the most friendly, positive people I had ever met (still is!). Over our four years in college she supported me through many stupid mistakes and exciting decisions, praying for me all along the way (we had a funny joke where I mentioned talking to ‘the man upstairs’ and she thought I was talking about a guy named Andy that lived above us!). Amy has taught me so much about loving others and giving grace. She always reflects Christ’s love in all situations and I have watched her lean on Him in times of major grief (losing her parents, struggles with kids, her husband’s near-fatal car accident) and it always pulls me closer to the LORD. We haven’t talked much over the years since we graduated, as we moved many states apart. But we always try to reconnect when we’re visiting and I feel the same closeness we had back in college. Whether we talk every week or every 3 years, we will always be friends and I will always cherish the ways she has impacted my life.

People often tell me that I’m really good at staying connected with people. And yes, I do make an effort in that area. But I have learned that it must come from the heart, not out of obligation or guilt. If it’s a true friend, they will feel the same way. May you find time to reflect on the relationships that have blessed you and move forward with confidence that God put them in your life for a reason. And possibly just a season.